new year.... new year..... 2007 has just arrived. shouldn't be there any new resolutions? yeah...everyone make new resolutions every new year.... but i don't practise that actually.
this year is gonna be a different year to me. i've only one resolution this new year...yes, only one. one and only. i'm gonna pursue my dream, no matter what happens. time waits for no man. this saying is worrying me and it keeps playing in my head very often nowadays. i'm really worried now. Worrying about myself. my future. really. i'm touching 30 already. that's really fast.
this year is gonna be a different year to me. i've only one resolution this new year...yes, only one. one and only. i'm gonna pursue my dream, no matter what happens. time waits for no man. this saying is worrying me and it keeps playing in my head very often nowadays. i'm really worried now. Worrying about myself. my future. really. i'm touching 30 already. that's really fast.
i've started to watch some foreign movies. they're really good and something different. started with l'enfant (the child). it was a french movie and it was good. i enjoyed it though.
i'm in the States right now. i spent my birthday, Christmas and New Year here...working! how sad. well, i always think that it's not sad because it's my bread and butter. since i've chosen to keep my bread and butter, i shouldn't complain much. that's really hard on me, you know. sometimes, i really hate myself because of the decisions that i made. i'm confused and don't know which is the best for myself.
it's been a long time eversince i feel happy, really happy. i didn't. really. now, i need to define the problems. is it because of my job? or family? i don't know. i need more time to define it. the more i think the more issues i'm having here. oh...gosh...it's so messed up in the beginning of new year! i just can't believe it.
today, i felt awful. i don't wanna talk, don't wanna laugh at anything at all. i'm just numb and wanna watch movies and be quiet. i felt i'm tied up and no freedom. i can't breathe. is this kinda sacrifices that i really need to make in order to have a comfortable life? is this a good choice? i don't know and i need time.
nothing is more important than myself at this moment, now. there're too many things that i need to do. my house, career, car, personal life, friends, relationship, etc. i'm just stucked now.
what a day for me. what a messed up life.
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