another cheap thoughts for the greyish day.....

i heard some noises from my stomach..... also, received a few messages, woke me up.

i looked at the clock. darn....it's 4am! guessed because of the jet lagged.

it was a tired and exhausted day today. i didn't eat a single food today till dinner. went to rent car, buying all food stuffs before the guests arriving. oh gosh....don't mention about the rooms. it was all without bedsheets. i was thinking whether i have time to fix that. no, i don't. i don't care, really. i just don't wanna care. too much to do.....

when i was at the Costco, there're too many things! i carried 3 cartons of arrowheads water! and some other heavy stuffs too. while i was transferring them into the car, i hurt my wrist and it was painful. and i can feel my both hands were really painful and can't bear the tiredness. i think i just can't do this anymore. i was thinking. wherever i am, i'm just alone. i looked people around me. there're couples, families around them. and why am i alone? suddenly, the loneliness and coldness surrounded me. i can feel the air.

sometimes, i just wonder. do i need to sacrifice this much for a job? a job that can keeps my commitments, supports my family, my needs and wants. do i really need to sacrifice everything? my time? i just curious. is that what people do nowadays? well, that's my bread and butter. what to do? or ..... i can do something about it? how much does a person can save in his/her life? there're so much to buy and use. i can't save much. i've house, commitments, car, family, etc. everything and everyone needs money! every month, i'm just like a santa claus....hahaha... giving out the money. yeah...too many things to be spent!

quitting...yeah...quits.... that's a BIG word for me. as long as i live, i never quits almost in everything. i don't believe in impossible. i believe there's a possibility in everything, as long as i try and make it happens. i think that's the beauty part of myself and i'm proud of it. hehehe....

oh...and it's hard for me to leave KL actually. i met an interesting friend. yes, i think he's interesting and a nerd sometimes. i think nerds are interesting, always. nerds have their own unique characters and talents. just need to find out about them. they might not be caring and loving types, but they're honest, if you observe them. they tend to speak their minds. that's good enough. i get very attracted to this kinda guys always. maybe i'm a nerd too? hahaha ... hell no!!!!